Freeing Up Your Child’s Expression
If you’re experiencing your Child to be often silent in response to your True Adult, the following activity can help free up your Child’s ability to become more expressive verbally. It is also a wonderful experience to create for your Child whenever the opportunity is available!
1. Create a situation where you are alone and comfortable to speak freely.
You might be in your home, in the shower, in your car, or in nature. You can choose any place that feels right for you to freely speak out loud.
2. Bring to mind a True Adult.
Make it someone who you feel to be the safest, most comfortable, and most supportive adult—an actual person who is, or is not, currently in your life. (You may first want to do, from the book, Activity #2 in Section B of Part I: Recall an Ideal True Adult.) You can also create your own imagined ideal True Adult for this activity.
3. Now tell this person, as though they are physically with you, whatever you are moved to express.
Speak out loud and let your words come out in whatever emotion is there: anger, excitement, sadness, etc., and in whatever tone is there: screaming, whispering, normal tone, etc. You have your listener’s complete and undivided attention without interruption. This person provides you an open space while being fully and unconditionally interested in everything you have to say, regardless of content. I am always amazed at how wonderful I feel doing this activity. My Child loves it, as do many of my clients Children! I first discovered it when Patti was out of town, and I was in the shower. Many times when I’m showering, Patti’s getting ready for bed. Typically, I’ve already heard about her day, and it’s a perfect time to share with her important experiences from my day. Once when Patti was out of town, I noticed my Child was disappointed not to be able to share with her. Next thing I know, my Child says, why don’t I share with her as though she is here? I found that a great idea. I couldn’t believe how good it felt to share for as long as my Child wanted to, while feeling really heard, understood, loved, and respected. I hope you’ll try it.