*This is similar to the Child-Adult Meditation with some meaningful differences.
Remember… that this is an entirely silent experience.
The suggested minimum time is 6 minutes:
2 minutes in your True Adult position, 2 minutes in your Child’s position, and again, 2 minutes in your True Adult position. This is one round, and again, the recommended minimum time to do the Mirror Meditation. You can remain in each position for a longer period of time, as long as you remain aware of your position (Child or True Adult), and remain aware of the “other person” you’re looking at in the mirror. In the True Adult position, you are consistently focused on your Child. In the Child’sposition, you are freely having your experience as you simply maintain your awareness that there is a big person looking right at you with a desire to be with you. While I recommend a minimum of 6 minutes for this experience, if that feels too challenging for you, it’s better to go with less time until you’re incline to spend more.
Step 1: Always begin and end in the True Adult position, just as you would in a Child-Adult Meditation or Conversation.
Once in the True Adult position, your whole focus is to practice healthy separateness, which is your only focus in this first step. You can use any technique to help you recognize that any undesirable feelings or thoughts belong to your Child. They never belong to you as a True Adult. Your Child is the one who is engaged in life, and saddled with negative beliefs/programs that have led to undesirable feelings and thoughts.
As a True Adult, remember that you are an observer, a witness of your Child. You might think of your Child as a physical being, imagining how you would feel looking at an actual physical Child you know.
Once you experience some level of separateness, you’re ready to “switch positions”.
Step 2: In order to switch positions, you simply close your eyes and relax your head down. Stay here for just a moment and then lift your head back up and open your eyes. Now you’re in the Child’s position.
You get to be wherever you are in terms of your thoughts and feelings.
Remember, this activity is a silent experience.
Imagine, and begin to experience that this big person is interested in you, with a desire to be with you. Before switching back, begin to notice, and even allow yourself to begin receiving the presence of this big person looking right at you. When you are ready, “switch positions”.
Step 3: Again, to switch positions, you simply close your eyes and relax your head down. Stay here for just a moment and then lift your head back up and open your eyes. Now you’re in the True Adult position. Again, reestablish your separateness to the best of your ability. See and feel yourself as a solid and separate TRUE Adult (to the best of your ability).
Then just notice any thoughts and feelings your Child has. This is a powerful opportunity to discover more about your Child’s programs. Any negativity or judgment are valuable for you to identify as your Child’s programs even if you don’t know if there true or not. Just keep noticing your Child’s thoughts and feelings.
(Remember, this is your opportunity to practice your separateness as a True Adult), and then while remaining separate to the best of your ability, open to your Child to receive his or her experience. Get a sense of the difference that your presence is making for your Child. Then either complete or go back to number 2, number 3, number 2, number 3… completing the activity when you’re ready in your True Adult position (feeling yourself in your fullness as a True Adult – solid and separate – while being present with your Child.
*If at any point in the Mirror Meditation, it becomes too challenging, I recommend stepping out of the mirror and doing a Continuum Check, and then either a Child-Adult Meditation, or a True Adult Narration to assist you in becoming more separate. From there, it’s your choice whether you go back to continue the Mirror Meditation or not.
*Feel free to spend longer periods of time in each position. Sometimes I spend 10 minutes or more in either position. Go with what feels good and right inside you. What is important is that you remain clear about what role you’re in and that you finish in your True Adult position, feeling your separateness.
Like any skill that’s worthwhile, inner alignment requires practice to develop the lifelong benefits that the book is teaching you.
It’s also valuable to know that regardless of how you experience this activity, the fact that you stepped into the experience is valuable in furthering your inner alignment structures for developing your ultimate relationship.
