A Self-Assessment Tool
Visualize a line that represents the continuum of growth between the perspectives of Little Adult and True Adult. Then, along that line, determine the percentage of Little Adult (reactive, negative, judgmental) and True Adult (calm, centered, separate) that you assess yourself to be. For example, right now you may have a sense of being 75% Little Adult and 25% True Adult.
Always start with your Little Adult, and finish with your True Adult. Once you’ve placed yourself on the continuum, say out loud if possible, for example, Right now, I’m 75% Little Adult and right now, I’m 25% True Adult. Then wait a minute and repeat your self-assessment. Notice whether the percentages have changed. They don’t always but often do, because just the mere act of making the observation moves you into your True Adult/left brain, and, your Child experiences the presence of a big person paying attention. It’s not just your Little Adult alone to handle the moment. Someone else has become involved. It’s also moving you forward in your True Adult development and separateness.
Say your new findings to yourself out loud: For example, Right now, I’m 25% Little Adult and 75% True Adult.
When you have more time, you can always use another tool—the Child’s Journal, the Child–Adult Conversation or the True Adult Clarity Chart— to help you get separate before doing your second continuum check.