The following are key teachings from the YUR Book
Lines I live by—for your easy reference. These are meaningful ideals that guide my life’s success and happiness. The Inner Alignment Method takes you to these places.
Chapter 1: A Relationship with Yourself
1. By shifting your focus off other people, and putting that focus—not blame—on yourself, you can begin to develop an empowering relationship with yourself: your ultimate relationship.
2. Your Infinite Child is the you who arrived at birth, pure and timeless. This aspect of your Child exists in an energetic reality within which everyone and everything is connected.
3. I AM Training gives you the power to heal your childhood wounds and clear out your unconscious programs so you’ll no longer find yourself running endlessly in circles, recreating your painful past. The Infinite Child is a trusted guide pointing you in the right direction, an inner guru connecting you with your deepest truth.
Chapter 2: My Ultimate Relationship
1. Early wounding always involves a painful experience of disconnection from the Big People we depended on and felt especially close to.
2. I’ve learned that all I have to do is be true to myself. This means listening to my Child and everyone else’s Child as they guide us all to the highest quality of life that we are available to experience.
Chapter 3: Child and Little Adult: A Fundamental Misalignment
1. Anytime you find yourself reacting to someone or some circumstance or feeling a negative emotion, the experience is unconsciously reminding you of a time in childhood when you felt cut off—invalidated—by a Big Person.
2. Post Traumatic Childhood Moment (PTCM), refers to the trauma of the past—times when we didn’t feel seen, heard, or connected with by a True Adult—being re-experienced in current life.
3. None of a Little Adult’s efforts will ever work, because in addition to pushing aside the Child’s feelings, all these efforts are those of a child trying to do an adult’s job.
Chapter 4: True Adult: The Solution
1. As a True Adult, you become an objective observer of all that goes on in your Child’s world. Rather than being entangled in your problems, you become a compassionate witness to those problems.
2. A True Adult never blames anyone for anything, knowing that whenever there is conflict, each individual in that conflict makes perfect sense, and that we are all just doing the best we can.
3. People are more available to new perspectives after they feel that their own perspectives have been validated.
Chapter 5: A Sacred Connection: The Conversation
1. It’s amazing what a profound difference you can make as a True Adult, simply by listening to your Child. It means everything to a Child to be shown interest, compassion, and respect.
2. Because you have access, 24 hours a day, to every thought, feeling, and experience your Child has ever had, you are in the best position to be the most effective coach/therapist—True Adult—for your Child.
3. The connection between you as an emerging True Adult and your Child will deepen through communication, as does any relationship.
Chapter 6: Healthy Separateness: The Chart
1. As you develop healthy separateness within, you’ll find that you have a greater and more natural ability to do the same with others.
2. A first step toward healthy separateness is to distinguish the reactive thoughts and actions of your Little Adult from the feelings of your Hurt Child.
3. Only when your Child’s feelings and your Little Adult’s reactions are distinct, and no longer merged as one experience, can you emerge as a True Adult, properly address your Child’s feelings, and heal.
Chapter 7: Romantic Relationships: Inner Alignment in Love
1. A richly intimate, committed partnership for life is possible; the honeymoon doesn’t ever have to end.
2. It is in your relationship with yourself that you do the deepest healing work for creating a profound relationship with your partner.
3. As you and your Child continue to have conversations together, he or she will experience the healing that occurs naturally as the result of the relationship being developed between you.
Chapter 8: Romantic Relationships: Exponential Healing
1. When you’re having a negative emotional reaction to someone or something, it’s never about what it seems to be about. It’s always about something deeper, usually something buried in the past that is now beyond your conscious awareness.
2. Through exponential healing, the baggage from your past magically disappears, as though the pain had been in someone else’s life.
3. Upsets, struggles, and conflicts in relationship are opportunities for healing.
Chapter 9: Workplace Relationships: Inner Alignment at Work
1. When your True Adult steps in and reflects back your Child’s feelings and thoughts without judgments or opinions, your Child feels validated, supported, and gotten, and thus relieved.
2. Always be open and receptive to any memories your Child might bring to you. Your Child will guide you to past incidents he or she wants to talk with you about.
3. As you develop your ability to be a True Adult, you’ll gain a sense of calm, inner connection, and emotional well-being.
Chapter 10: Workplace Relationships: Exponential Healing
1. As you experience reflecting back your Child’s feelings and thoughts, you begin to feel a connection with him or her and the conversation starts flowing more naturally.
2. It’s comforting for your Child when you receive his or her feelings while remaining clear that those feelings belong to him or her, not to you, his or her True Adult.
3. As your Child eventually learns to depend on you, he or she will more readily provide you with information, guidance, and insights regarding your issues.
Chapter 11: Family Relationships: Inner Alignment at Home
1. Once you align with your Child and emerge as a True Adult, you are available to be continually guided by your Child of the Infinite to connect to the higher selves of others, especially the young children you may be parenting.
2. When you as a parent are connected with your own Child within, you can more easily connect with your physical children on the emotional level that they need. But when you are disconnected from your own Child in any particular area, you will likewise remain unavailable to your physical children in the same area.
3. Becoming a True Adult for your own Child is the quickest path to becoming enlightened parents with happy and emotionally intelligent children.
Chapter 12: Family Relationships: Exponential Healing
1. In families, the buried wounds of the parents impact their children, who then grow up in the shadow of those wounds.
2. It takes experience to know—in the moment—that conflicts are always an invitation to self-discovery, evolving you to a higher quality of life. As you practice I AM and see how everything that happens moves you forward, it becomes easier to see—in each moment—that nothing is ever wrong.
3. I AM Training brings you to a state of True Adult Clarity, giving you options and choices that were unavailable to you in Little Adult mode.
Chapter 13: True Adult: From Surviving to Thriving . . . and Ever Evolving
1. Getting comfortable with not knowing—welcoming it as a way of life—frees you from clinging to any one perspective or belief and allows you to greet new ideas with interest and enthusiasm.
2. True Adults acknowledge all the Children; they treat the Child within all other people as they would their own Child.
3. As your connection to your Child deepens, you begin to experience a profound state of oneness with all of life, retaining your individuality while embracing a deeper connection with everyone around you.
Epilogue: The Promise of Your Ultimate Relationship
1. It’s valuable to consider what happens when True Adults, rather than Little Adults, determine the ways in which we do business, educate our children, and oversee our environment—just to mention a few categories of life on our planet.
2. You are an important part of our planet’s evolution.
3. The path is now clear for you to join the Children and start living Your Ultimate Relationship.
