A fundamental human challenge is the tendency to believe that the answers are on the outside.
This is because when we were children that was true. We needed to rely on the “big people” for our answers. In all areas where we experienced trauma from the absence of a safe and loving “big person” when we needed them, we continue to focus outside for our answers. That is the case until those wounds are truly healed. When we carry such unhealed trauma, we still believe, and live our lives as though, the answers are on the outside. We continue to struggle and suffer unnecessarily until we learn how to turn the focus within, as taught in I AM.
In Inner Alignment Method (I AM) training, you become the one who’s on the outside, focusing within to get to know your still hurting Child. This way, you’re not expecting your Child to stop focusing outside. You come to understand that a Child can’t help but look to those on the outside for the answers. That is what’s happening anytime we become reactive in some way. For example, we might get in someone’s face to set them straight, or perhaps say nothing and pretend there’s no problem at all. However we react, we are experiencing ourselves as a Child in Coping Mode, which I also call Little Adult. When such reactions occur without being properly addressed, we are reinforcing painful, programmed beliefs that will continue to stifle true self expression and connection.
I AM supports you in developing yourself as a True Adult, creating power within and the connection that allows those wounds to be healed. The result is a profound relationship between your Child and you, as a True Adult, allowing your Child to be free to show up authentically in life. Then, as a True Adult by your Child’s side, you continue to discover, day by day, the truth of who you are, connecting with all of life in deeper, more meaningful ways.
Dear Deb,
You are dealing with several really challenging circumstances…all at once. Not only would that naturally be overwhelming, but when you don’t have a strong support system of people around you, it is all the more painful. I hope that it might help to know that what you are describing is sadly common for mothers, especially single mothers.
What my book teaches is how to use our current challenges as a vehicle to take us where we need to go in the direction of a more meaningful and fulfilling life. The first step you’re taken to in Why YOU Are Your Ultimate Relationship is to turn your focus from the outside to the inside. My book takes you step by step, empowering you to discover what you need to know while experiencing new openings inside. The challenging path becomes more clear, inspiring the steps you need to take in your life and with your children.
I have found that physical illness is another way we are being guided in a different direction from the one we have been living by…often without knowing we have a choice. First of all, I would look into what kind of support options you have in different categories: friends and family, professional, information on the internet, and books.
Often times, religious organizations have references for support groups and other options for support. If you can find a psychotherapist in your area, that could be a good move forward. Additionally, I strongly recommend getting a copy of my book to further support you with your extra challenging current circumstances.
I hope this is helpful to you. You took a big step by reaching out on my blog. Now, it’s time to take another step in the directions I mentioned above. Each step forward, no matter how small it might seem, is actually a big step in creating momentum. I wish you all the best!
I’m a single mom raising two children who became teenagers. I should be able to let go now that their old enough to take care of themselves.. I Can’t they don’t listen.. I Am annoying and don’t know what I’m talking about. I do for everyone with no appreciation and I’m losing myself, can’t find my place with my kids anymore. Also found out I’m sick need help seems like im all alone